I thought we were friends?

I love how people always tell me to cherish my high school days. On one end, I completely agree, I mean those were the days; but now that I think about it, it's interesting to see how close I am to my friends.
For me, I was the quiet one. I'm really shy, so I hated speaking in class and I was terrible at making new friends. Unless the other person was talkative, it was hard for me to keep up a conversation.
Can't say I've changed much now, I still am really shy, but I've become better at spurting random stuff out when it gets awkward. Unless the other person intimidates me. Then I tend to curl up into a shell and just stay hidden.
Anyway, in high school we were always split into two groups. The "cool" group, and then the rest. The "cool" group mainly consisted of those who went into IB and then dropped, most of them were from the same junior high so they stayed together and they rarely sat with us for lunch. They were also usually wearing all the brand names so we referred to them as the "cool" group.

It's always facebook where you see the events or parties that you weren't invited to. I've definitely lost interest in facebook, but I am a curious person; I stay on to creep.
I always try to get everyone included, even if I didn't like someone, I always invited them.
It mainly started when my friend "S" decided to host some event. However she only invited a limited number of people and they were part of the "cool" group for us in high school. I wasn't included, which I found kind of weird because just a week before "S" and I were planning a surprise party for our friend "J".
But both "J" and I were in the same class, so she asked me online and of course I said that I wasn't invited.
She then decided to tell "S" why I wasn't, and "S" took over a week to invite me to the event. For her to even take time to think to invite me made me think she didn't even want me there in the first place.
Not going to lie when I say that I was a little hurt, yet at the same time I wasn't surprised over her decision. She has always been in the middle of our groups and lately she's been hanging wanting to be part of the "cool" crowd.

Now I've seen pictures of parties where I, and several others of our group, weren't invited to. I won't say that it's because we were not "cool", I highly doubt that was the reason, but they were all of our high school friends and the fact that we weren't invited was a little... lonely? Just the fact that we spent so much time in high school (and even some stuck with us in junior high!), and we weren't included.

I thought we were friends, hey?

Revlon Colorstay foundation - Initial thoughts

My revlon colorstay initial thoughts review!
(Sorry for the blurry picture! It's the best my amateur camera can do!)

First of all, this is my first liquid foundation. I've only been wearing mineral foundations, but lately I've realized that I tend to sweat off my foundation or I blot it away (ugh). It's also been raining, so it tends to wash off my face and in the end my face turns into a mess of discoloration
I picked this up at work today, it was ~$12CAD (which is pretty DARN cheap for us Canadians!), I immediately went home and tried applying it with my fingers, and then a wet sponge. Both did a pretty good job, and I am impressed that I managed to pick the right color.
I was debating between Sand Beige and Nude, in the end I felt that nude might be too light for me so I decided on sand beige. It matches PERFECTLY with my skin!
So I went home, applied it, and THE SMELL. After mixed reviews on MUA about the smell, I took the chance and went for it anyway.
The smell reminds me of paint. It's a BIG turn off for me, but now that I have it on my face, I can't really smell it. I guess it is just a smell that I will have to get used to?
Coverage is light to medium, however I'm sure you can build it up to full coverage. It has managed to cover most of my pores and blackheads, and even some of my blemishes!
I cannot comment on staying power right now, since I haven't worn it for a long time. However that will probably come in my next review which will be a couple months later just to see if this is living up to the hype that it has received. 

You

I've always refrained from talking about this friend of mine, "D", because he mostly gets along with everyone and is usually the "joker" of our group of friends. I always felt that it was only me who had ill feelings towards him.
Even now I am unsure whether or not my friends share the same opinion, but I felt I needed to get out this way.

Let me start first with he looks SO much older than us. We're all Asian so we have those genes where we look younger than we actually are, but he looks SO old. Like late 30's. Anyway, I left for a year in junior high and went to another school, and went back to the high school that most of us were at, I found that he changed quite a bit.
His jokes turned into those "funny racist" ones or those "sexual funny" ones that I've never been fond of. Anyway he was fine in grade 11, in grade 12 we became closer when I started working at starbucks. It just so happened that he worked at the superstore that was really close to my start bucks, so he came and visited me a lot. I didn't mind, I mean I still hate the company and gave him free drinks all the time, but he always came at times when I had to close and there were a billion duties to do and he distracted me from them to the point where my shift said: "To be honest... if he's not your boyfriend, why do you talk to him so much?"
After that I told him and he stopped coming when I worked.
But he kept bothering me at high school, doing things I hated him doing.
I'm short, I HATE being reminded that I'm short. Yet he always did things like use my shoulders as an arm rest, which I HATED. I absolutely hated it. I even told him yet he STILL kept doing it.
Then every time we were at parties he would get as close to me as possible and just hang out around me the whole time.
You know those feelings you get when you think someone likes you? I had that feeling. He was always around and always willing to help me out with anything, and any time he needed help he always asked me first.
However I couldn't reciprocate those feelings, so I tried everything to push him away.

High school ended, we're in University now. He took a year off because he skipped one of his final exams to go to a family wedding in the Bahamas, therefore he was delayed in getting his diploma and he can't register till this year. I still worked at starbucks and one day he showed up.
It was a while since I've seen him, so we talked while I worked and we caught up pretty quickly. He then asked me: "Hey, I have a new camera, if you have time... we should go take some pictures together."
I said: "Sure, but to let you know it'll probably be the end of December, when finals are done."
After that he started coming in a lot more to visit, it became the same thing again but one day at work someone who worked with me kept petting my head.
Her reasoning was: "You're pettable. That's all."
Anyhow I saw him again right after that shift and I told him that she was crazy and kept saying that she kept petting my head.
He then proceeded to do the same thing and pet my head. I quickly backed away, telling him to stop it and that I hated it and he literally chased after me and pet my head over again.
ANGRY, I walked away and left without saying anything.

I avoided him every time he came in and a month later he sent me a text at 10PM saying: "If you could wake me up by tomorrow, that'd be great."
I usually wake up at 7AM and the time it takes me to go to the bus stop is around 8:15AM. So around 8:30AM I replied with "WHAT?", since I just say it once I got to the bus stop.
Minutes later he replies with: "Thanks a lot. Now I'm late for work."
ANGRY, I sent back a text that said: "I'm sorry. Does it look like I'm your mom? Your girlfriend? I don't think so. Who are you to tell me what time to wake you up?"
He didn't reply, and I didn't see him for months too. December came, this was around the time I handed in my 2 weeks notice at starbucks, he came in, I said hi. Told him I was busy, and then he was like: "Don't worry I'll come back next week."
I replied: "Oh, I didn't tell you did I? I'm quitting."

Fast forward to July. It was my friend's birthday. My friend "S" and I planned a small party for her and we ended up inviting people.
Turns out "S" invited "D" and he came. Just so happened that I had my road test last week, and while I was driving away I saw "D", being the nice person I am, I decided to wave while I was driving away.
I didn't pass my advanced road test for one stupid reason, so I was really angry with myself and decided not to talk about it.
I saw him at the party and he asked me: "How did the test go?"
Me: How did you know?
Him: I saw your name on the list when I went to go get a permit.
Me: Oh... well yeah, I failed...
Him: Oh. What happened?
Me: It was a stupid mistake. I'd rather not say...
Him: No seriously, tell me.
Me: Uh. No. It's OK.
Him: HONESTLY! Tell me!
Me: No! It's stupid.
Him: Well then think of it as I'm learning from your mistakes!
Me: NO.
The conversation continued on like that for a while, until he finally walked away.
I wasn't very happy after that. After that I saw all the flaws and began to point out everything that I disliked about him.
I spent the rest of the party kind of sitting and eating by myself because everyone had their own groups. He then decided to SHARE a chair with me. There was space, our bodies didn't touch, but of all the space he had he decided to share a chair with me.
I was uncomfortable, but every time he inched closer, I began to move away.
After everything else I pulled out my Japanese homework, because I had a big test the next day, and started doing it. BUZZKILL? I couldn't care less.
He saw me studying and asked me to teach him Japanese. My response was obviously no, but he kept pestering me about it.
I told him to ask others, he said why not? I was already pro at it anyway.
I'm far from being "pro" in Japanese. He's friends with so many Japanese people, go get them to teach you! Or even better, buy the textbook and self learn!
He kept pestering me and in the end I stopped talking and just continued doing my work.

Since then I haven't seen him. Nor do I really want to. I'm afraid he'll bring out the really bad side of me.
However soon he is attending the same University as I am... I really don't want to bump into him during my breaks. I'd rather just be by myself than around him.

Stop denying it.

Please.
It's as if you think we are all complete idiots.
If you have feelings for her - admit it! Who are we to judge anyway?
Do you think it's not obvious at all? Do you think you are being sneaky by giving out vague tweets and tumblr posts?
It's ridiculous.

Stop denying it and man up.
If you like her, you like her.
Just stop lying and saying that you're good friends when not only you - but all of us - know that you want it to be more.

The Beginning

Currently just a 19 year old girl enjoying life.
I have found blogging to be an outlet of mine, I have several blogs with other websites, but most of them I have to watch what I say; I hate that feeling the most.
That is my reasoning for the blog.

What most of my blogs will be about is life, I have a lot of things to say about my friends. Then about fandom, I'm a pretty big fangirl over k-pop, j-pop and dramas. There will also be my interests as well.

I hope those who are interested comment. :) I'm not doing this for comments or attention mainly, but I'd love to hear everyone's opinions.
よろしくお願いします。